Luka,cedera,Dr. mesra pesakit?

Monday, May 28

Tarikh: 25 Mei 2007/26 Mei 2007
Masa: 11:00-11:30 pagi/ 10:00 malam- 2:00 pagi
Tempat: T**d*s rumah, KBMC.
Perkara: Jatuh, luka(2x1 cm),cedera.
Tindakan: Poliklinik Permata, umi, abah, Dr. Anza, Dr.Anuar, Nurse Nor Hidayah, radiography technologist.
Hasil: Bengkak,gambar x-ray kaki, 3 injections, 2 jahitan, Ospamox Amoxicillin, Ponstan.

p/s: berhati-hati di dalam tandas. -_-'


Sleeping Disorders

Friday, May 18

Sleep disorders involve any difficulties related to sleeping, including difficulty falling or staying asleep, falling asleep at inappropriate times, excessive total sleep time, or abnormal behaviors associated with sleep.


Abnormal behaviors during sleep are called parasomnias and are fairly common in children. They include:

-Sleep Terror Disorders(Pavor nocturnus):
Sleep terror disorder is an abrupt awakening from sleep with fear, sweating, rapid heart rate, and confusion.

-Sleep walking:
Sleepwalking is usually not remembered by the person doing it, and usually affects children 2 to 12 years old. In adults, sleepwalking may also be caused by an organis brain syndrome, reactions to drugs, psychological disorders, and certain medical conditions.

-REM Behaviour Disorders:
A type of psychosis related to lack of REM sleep and lack of dreaming.


-Awakening in the night
-Difficulty falling asleep
-Excessive daytime drowsiness
-Loud snoring
-Episodes of stopped breathing
-Sleep attacks during the day
-Daytime fatigue
-Depressed mood
-Difficulty concentrating
-Loss of memory(or complaints of decreased memory)
-Lower leg movements during sleep

The symptoms may vary with the particular disorder.


I experianced sleepwalking and sleep terror during my childhood. Many of my friends did not know about it. I bet, I never told them as I face difficulties remembering it. Yah, try telling a friend of yours that you are a sleep-walker. O_O'

As much as I realised, I spent most of my childhood time (referrring to age 5-8) at the hospital. It was not me who had being hospitalized, but it was my late grandfather. He was diagnosis with so many diseases. Diabetes, heart- problems, lungs failure, asthma, etc. Some of them are hardly to explain with words and sentences, escpecially from my dictionary and perspectives. It will rather be a massive misunderstanding situation or a fictitious diseases. I'm a school leaver and I got a B3 in Biology. -_-'

The vision of him lying in hospital's bed keep playing inside my head, topless and only covered with his kain sarung. It has been 10 years since he left us. We missed him a lot and will always do.

Everytime we headed to the hospital, I prayed quietly in my heart that we would not use the staff lift which is located in front of the emergency room and the mortuary. Actually it was a lift that was used to bring the dead body to the mortuary. Since we were using it, we bumped into dead bodies many times. Fresh dead body. I hate the squeaking sound of the corpse container each time its stainless steel wheel touched the cold-cemented floor of a long, narrow alley, near the lift. Fear is the right word. Afraid is even more accurate. Trauma is the exact situation. I cannot associate with anything related to corpse. Cemetery, hearse, funeral, etc. Even a signboard with 'The Mortuary' written on it gave me an eerie thought, triggering a dreadful state. Gulp! I had never realised it had put me among those who went through mental breakdown.

Not only that I feared the corpses but also being left alone in the dark. I can watch horror movies. However at night, I will have a most terrible night terror ever. I cannot close my eyes. Everytime I try to do so, thousands of creepy images keep playing through my mind. (Actually, it is a matter of mental illnesses. Our mind has been forced to imagine something beyond our consciousness. More alike fantasy,etc. ) Sometimes I have a nightmare and end up sitting on the floor in tears. Then I go back to bed as if nothing was happen. The next day, I feel a little bit strange and I do remember those nightmares but I am insensible. Nor afraid neither relieve. Nevertheless, if I'm having sleepwalking, I cannot remember a single details of it. My mom told me everything about it.

After my grandfather's death, I'm still having those disorders but rarely occur. And by the time I'm in Standard 5, I was fully recovered as I did not experiance night terror and sleepwalking anymore. Now, I'm 18 years old and just happen to know that it is a disease. A mental disease. Poor me though. I also go through several sites on sleeping disorder and I'm relieved to know that night terror and sleepwalking is okay and harmless as if the person who has those disorder is a children below 12 years old. If it still continue to occur beyond 12 years old, it is a problem that require immediate treatment.

Its funny though to know that I once have a mental problem and I have stumbled on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder on the net> an ilness caused by a traumatic experiances such as war, accident, etc. Maybe I could label mine as PSTD. I'm having corpse trauma syndrome! Yikes!

*Footnote: I'm referring my case caused by PTSD. Therefore, I'm assuming myself having a mental breakdown in the past.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a term for certain severe psychological consequences of exposure to, or confrontation with, stressful events that the person experiences as highly traumatic. Clinically, such events involve actual or threatened death, serious physical injury, or a threat to physical and/or psychological integrity, to a degree that usual psychological defenses are incapable of coping with the impact. It is occasionally called post-traumatic stress reaction to emphasize that it is a result of traumatic experience rather than a manifestation of a pre-existing psychological condition. The presence of a PTSD response is influenced by the intensity of the experience, its duration, and the individual person involved.


p/s: The true story of my life. Please quote this: I'm 200% healthy now. It is just a story from the past that I want to share with someone else for a long time. Knowing it as a disease inspires me to write about it and to comfort others who undergo such hard time by telling them that they are not alone. Everyone who encounters the same problems as mine, dont hesitate to contact me and by God Willing, I might be able to help you
p/s: I'm on mediaction right now (Duromine) and facing insomnia. -_-'. Bad Phentermine.

Sudah sedia.

Wednesday, May 16


Bayu laut menghempas ke muka. Perlahan. Segenap pelusuk hati berasa tenang dan nyaman. Lintasan memori hilang bersama kasar deruan ombak. Jika boleh, memori itu dicampak jauh ke tengah laut. Moga-moga memori tersebut tidak kembali- menerjah kamar hati gundah.
Terseyum sendirian. Lekas-lekas berpaling ke belakang. Terasa seolah-olah dia masih berada di situ-memerhati dan merenung. Kemudian, sekuntum senyuman dihadiahkan. Ah, bahagia sungguh! Semuanya kembali berputar ligat dalam kotak istimewa hadiah dari Tuhan.
Mulalah air mata mengguyur. Sudah di kata, jangan kau berlagak-sombong diri-hidung tinggi. Nanti, dirimu sendiri akan tersungkur, meminta, dan merayu kepadaNYA. Sesungguhnya air mata itu jua milikNYA, makhlukNYA.


Mana Muadz? Mana Muadz! Dia tidak peduli lagi bala tentera Balid yang makin mara di depannya. Dia tidak lagi peduli lagi mayat-mayat yang bertaburan di hadapannya. Muadz mana!
Tiba-tiba hatinya nyilu. Langkahnya mati. Merasa bagaikan dirinya dicarik-dihiris-dicincang. Lantas air mata mengguyur jatuh.Deras. Hangat. Pedang sepanjang 3 kaki yang diperbuat daripada campuran tujuh jenis logam, bertatahkan jed dan marmar dihulunya ditusukkannya ke pasak bumi. Lututnya lemah- terus menyembah bumi. Lama sekali dia menunduk. Guyuran air mata semakin deras. Esakan kecil semakin lama semakin terdengar. Muadz!


‘Laut cantik dan tenang'.
Ramai yang mengungkapkannya sedemikian. Pernahkah kita melihat keganasan laut? Kejadian tsunami yang berlaku pada 26 Disember 2004 sudah cukup untuk memberi bukti bahawa laut juga boleh bertindak ganas. Kadangkala kita lupa bahawa laut itu tentera Allah. Kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukannya. Dia tidak mahu mati katak di tengah-tengah laut. Kalau hendak melakukan sesuatu, lakukanlah dengan jalan yang betul dan selamat.


“I am pathetic.”

“Ingat! Air mata tidak akan membawa apa-apa erti, sekadar menjadi ‘painkiller’ yang beroperasi buat sementara waktu. Apabila sudah tamat operasinya, kesakitan akan dirasai semula. Kesakitan yang hanya dapat dirasai oleh mereka yang mengeluarkannya dengan penuh emosi.”
Dia nampak lain. Sangat lain dengan yang pernah Tiya kenali.


MUZEQ : (Mencekak pinggang. Wajahnya bengis dan menakutkan.) Bagus. Aku tahu kau boleh aku harapkan. ( Tersenyum. Senyumannya meleret.) Malam esok kita akan serang markas Jeneral Loqeman. (Ketawa terbahak – bahak. Pandak Andak tersentak, dia lantas bangun dan berlalu pergi. Riak wajahnya bertukar.) Pandak Andak! Kau mahu ke mana?
PANDAK ANDAK : (Menoleh ke belakang) Aku mahu pulang. Aku tidak mahu turut serta kali ini. Aku tidak mahu menyerang Jeneral Loqeman. Dia saudaraku!
(Suara tersekat, menahan marah. Dia meneruskan perjalanannya.)


Ceritera saya?

Wednesday, May 9


Kadang-kadang seronok nak update blog,
sebab ada banyak perkara gembira yang berlaku.

Kadang-kadang malas nak update blog,
sebab ada banyak perkara sedih yang berlaku.

(Post hari ini tidak ada kaitan dengan ayat-ayat di atas. Mood saya hari ini berada pada aras yang baik. Ayat-ayat tersebut mungkin natijah dari mood saya beberapa hari lalu.Mungkin.)

Ceritera saya?
Saya masih diri saya yang dulu. Masih terperap di rumah. Kadangkala, jika saya bosan atau rakan-rakan saya bosan, kami akan ke KLCC (entah mengapa kami selalu ke situ? Dekat? Mungkin.) Boleh dikatakan dalam tempoh seminggu, pasti saya dan kawan-kawan akan keluar bersama-sama. Ada yang bekerja. Ada juga yang sudah berhenti bekerja. Ada juga seperti saya, terperap di rumah.

Isnin depan bermulah episod kehidupan yang baru bagi sebahagian besar rakan-rakan saya. Pusat-pusat matrikulasi kerajaan sesi 2007/08 akan memulakan operasinya pada 14 Mei 2007. Keputusan kemasukkan ke IPTA bagi lepasan SPM 2006(UPU) juga telah dikeluarkan. Afiqah akan ke PM Negeri Sembilan bersama Asma. Diyana dan Adilah mungkin turut serta. Athiyah dan Farhanah akan ke Asasi Ekonomi dan Pengurusan di UIAM Petaling Jaya. Izzah akan mendaftar masuk ke KDU pada 4 Jun 2007, satu permulaan bagi merealisasikan impiannya-membuka sebuah Law Firm. beliau akan mengikuti course Pre-Law selama 10 bulan. Kak Syaz masih menunggu panggilan UPU. Sakinah akan mendaftar ke CUCMS pada 17 Mei 2007.Beliau akan mengambil jurusan Farmasi.

Ceritera saya?
Tunggu dan lihat.


I Pray,
to help me through the day,
to make myself stronger,
and I Pray.

Right now, the dreams I've longed for are slowly approaching and unfolding,
When I close my eyes, I can hear someone's prayer entering my heart ,
I believe that all many promises I've made with the stars will come true one day ,
We can do anything if we sweat, and pay attention to those who are special to us .

Once in a lifetime fly to the star,
The stars will watch over your dreams,
Once in your lifetime,
for that day,
Forever we'll work together so have love for your dreams.
Try your best to overcome the upsetting and tough obstacles,
Open your eyes to the sky, then you can find the way for the better days,
Now we can live together in this world.

When it's tough, you can rest. Okay, quickly take a second,
The longed dream that the many stars know about, you can take it,
It will be easier if we work together,
This dream of yours is filled with passion, it's all yours,
There's no question. "

- Once in A Lifetime, Shinhwa, Statue of The Art(2006)-