Slowly, I regained my consiousness.

Friday, September 4

It has been a week since I, first started my attachment a la elective posting in O&G. I would say, I totally and finally realized on which path I am standing and where would my future goes. I have chose this path and a turning back is almost impossible.

I am a very passive person. I really cant work or communicate well in unfamiliar environment, I hardly initiate a move in everything that I do. This is me but this week, everything is going to change. Definitely.

Back in May/June, senior started to encourage us to apply for elective posting. They said, dont underestimate yourself. Even if you are not a clinical student, you still have a lot to learn and starts early doesn't cause any harm. I can say that, an email from one of my seniors really encourages me to take the challenges. He said that it doesnt care if we dont know anything. It doesnt kills if we want to learn. Make mistakes and try to improve it day by day. It is a mistake if you do nothing and wait until the time comes.

I took the challenge and give it a try. Although all KL-ite were being so busy with each other's life, it doesnt stop me at all. Bravely, I apply for O&G elective posting in Ampang Hospital for two weeks. I dont care if I will be alone. I just need to give it a go. Well, my mom will not be by my side forever. If I dont do this, I will not be able to live. I just know my limit.

So, there I am. Alone and scared.

BUT. I forgot that Allah is always there for me even if there is no one beside me. He answered my prayers and blessed me with Kak Athirah. She is a 87-er, a 3rd year student at Mansoura University, and she did apply for O&G! Yay!!!!!!!

So, we walked together to the O&G department and just let everything goes naturally.

1st Day

Our first day was a bit boring. After struggled about 2 hours at administration office and specialist's clinic, we finally met one of the O&G specialist, and she sent us to the labour room.

There is nothing much to tell on the first day but luckily, I finally watched and expeienced my first ever delivery. It was a bit overwhelmed. Thanks to HO and nurses for giving a lot of new information and let us to learn. They were a bit surprised that we are only pre-clinical student and do not know anything about O&G. Pelvis and Embryology subject in Anatomy are exceptions. They said that we cant conduct delivery since we are still babies in this field BUT if we are keen to learn and want to take the challenge, after a few days, they would let us to do it and under supervision.

I came back home early that day and I almost give up to be a doctor. It was really different from what I have imagined. Totally. At one time, I really dont want to go back to Egypt. I jhad enough!

At the end of the day, I just want no more. I dont know if I can be a doctor. I dont want to do it anymore.

I lost faith in myself....

BUT, my mom helped me to gain my consiousness. She gave supports and encouraged me. A second try doesnt kills.

2nd Day

I came in the labour room with new hopes and full of spirits. Once for all, all for once.
I really had fun on that day. Nurses let us to help a lot and finally we watched more than 5 deliveries on that day. Nurses started to give attentions to us and let us to learn. HOs, MOs and specialist really helped us a lot.

We learnt how to do vaginal examination, how to insert a speculum, how to do patient' clerking, what are the drugs use in labour room, the common procedures in labour room, what is episiotomy, resuscitations, what is ARM, MRP, CTG and how to read the graph, how to deliver placenta, and a many more.... I was so happy so I dont want to stop.

Slowly, I regained my consiousness.
I chose this path and I cant turn back.

3rd day

I assisted my first delivery and did my first resuscitation. I was too nervous and I dont know how to use the suction tube. Luckily, HO was kind and helped me with it and with my bare hand, I hold the newborn and pass it to the mother. I dont care blood and amniotic fluid stains were all over my lab coat. It was an honour. He's lucky to be my first. Hehehe

4th day

Finally. Nurse let me to conduct the delivery.. (is it?? LOL.. i dont care.. i think i just conducted a delivery) BUT she guided me. (She held my hand la...) She held my hands so that I can pulled out the baby. Time passed really fast and I kinda blurred. I cut the baby cord and do the CCT (controlled cord traction/placenta delivery) adn done my first ever VE. Did I tell you guys that Kak Athirah did the suture?? That was totally awesome!! Although only one suture, I think that is enough!

I know my english is bad. REAL BAD! I am so sorry, but I really need to share my experiences. I need to do it. Pardon my english. Just get to the jist and forget about the the mistakes.

Tomorrow is Saturday but I just want to go the hospital. I just cant get enough of it.

Fate brings me here. Its not a coincidence that now I am a medical student. It's fate. HIS fate.
I am so thankful and grateful by HIS blessings. I will improve myself. I dont want to be a DR-good-for-nothing.

Till then. I hope that this will encourage you to give it a try. I am still alive. Dont worry.. :)