A look back.
Muhasabah.
6 long years. Or maybe 7.
And I am back at square one.
Before, I have this super instinct that I would successfully completed my hopes/wishes/promises during my stay in Egypt. 6 long years.
I wished to be a better person.
I promised myself that I would do better
I promised HIM I would do better.
The journey had been on rocky and bumpy roads.
I faced a lot of challanges and difficulties.
I was a carefree person.
I believe that I can do everything. If there is a will, there is a way.
I have high expectations and lotsaa confidences within myself. I do believe my potentials could bring me to a higher level in a community.
I want everything to be perfect and I put everything that I have on line to make it true.
That was me. The old me.
I wasn't the best student in high school, but I managed to secure a spot for scholarship's interview. Again, my over-confidence-self failed me. The moment I failed my JPA's interview, half of my dreams buried along my self-confidence and delusion of living in western county, stylishly.
HE gave me Egypt instead. At that time, I know nothing about Egypt, I doubted myself if I could ever be a doctor, And if I could ever survive Egypt! Oh man. It's Egypt! ( At least, it's aboard.)
Seriously, at that time, I am completely clueless about Egypt.
Thank you to my interview partner whom helped me to deliver my self-introduction speech ( in arabic!) during MARA interview. (How I got to MARA is another looong story) He had been whispering to me all the time so I could present myself properly and confidently. Haha. I had been stuttering as I couldn't find the word for Egypt in Arabic. And yes, I wasn't expecting Egypt at all!
Sahara, Pyramids, Pharoahs, Arabs and I need to be decent. Super decent.
Goodbye backstreet boys, the-so-called-hollywood-wannabe-lifestyle and goodbye the old me.
I tried hard to be 'syncronized' with Egypt. I started to wonder if HE has other plans for me. If I have sinned too much before, too much of bad influences inside my mind..
I started to realize this fact when my desire to pursue my upper form in boarding school was rejected.
( haha anotherrr looong, super long story with a splash of drama!)
I really wanted to go to boarding school so that I could have higher chances to continue my studies aboard, in western country and have a la Madonna lifestyle. Opps. A bad goal to start a new journey. Opps
And that was it. I started to do a lot of promises to myself, to HIM.
A chance for me to correct myself, to become a new person, to be a good 'abd, so that I can have a good ending.
He gave me Egypt. A tough land with it's unbelievable people and an unique culture.
I knew the moment I was about to prepare myself for the preparation course; HE granted me a chance to undo me! A chance of a lifetime.
Once I stepped out of Cairo International Airport, reality hit me hard.
Babe, this is only the beginning.
When I said, I don't know what to feel, what to expect or how to react when I saw a brown colored land which become clearer each time I took a peek through the small window of an aeroplane, from my aisle seat, I meant it.
To be continued..
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